I like the FedEx driver, because he’s a drug dealer, and he don’t even know it.– Mitch Hedberg (via bringtheruckuss) Especially when he’s delivering wine without an ASR
#1 New Year Resolution I tanked on
Nail game. My nail game is not poppin’
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.– Charles M. Schulz (Link goes to Fresh Air interview from 1990.)
googling while watching Full Metal Jacket
OK, I'll bite...Googling Harold Camping
Ditched the suit
6th account landed this week. When I got home, I checked my work phone for the last time before I put it to bed for the weekend. (I check it periodically on the weekends. It’s a bad habit that developed from my crazy days in the staffing world where regular work hours and work days meant all day/night and weekends. Thankfully this job allows for me to have a life.) So, I checked my work...
omg just landed another one
My mother has taught me tons of lessons and on this Mex Mothers Day, I just want to thank her for fueling my desire to always be the type of mother Jocelyn needs. And the type of mother Isabella needs me to be. And the type of mother Julianna needs me to be. My mission as their mommy is to instill in them an appreciation for music, literature and learning, a heart full of compassion, desire and...
That number you dialed to get the time…(or to try to look busy). The children will never know about popcorn.
Just got back from jogging. Feels good; I’ve been so lazy lately (all year).
Revenge of the 5th– it’s been thee “witty” highlight of my day. Thanks Passthemike I tried sharing this with non tumblr people and I just received blank stares and I coulda sworn I heard crickets.
This is me discovering that I can do audio posts...
gahhh i totally missed May the 4th!!
(may the 4th be w you, etc)